Ever get frustrated by the disconnect between your creativity and skill level? You get this really amazing project idea in your head, you know what you want the end result to be but you just can’t quite get there?
While my main skill set is in being an author, I also like making art in Photoshop and editing videos for my YouTube channel. I’ve made some cool pieces, and some not so good ones. And while these animation and art pieces are really good for me, it’s still not this level of quality I approve of.
I know people tell you not to compare yourself to others, celebrate the growth for your particular journey, right? But it’s not always a case of comparing to see where I rank amongst this pantheon of creatives. It’s the point that I can feel my head hitting this invisible skill set wall.
One of the ways I can liken this to is that when creating a piece of art you normally go through a series of stages until you reach the final piece. First you brainstorm ideas as to what you want to create. Then you pick what you want and collect your supplies (even in the digital sphere). Then you begin the rough sketching phase to make sure what you first envisioned lines up with what you really want. From the sketch comes the more smooth line work. Then you color block the piece (usually meaning you take your main colors of each section and put them down in whole chunks without detail). Then you begin refining (or rendering as stated in the digital arts). This is where you add shading and highlights, the truly defined details that really bring it to life.
I can have access to the same tools and programs these more polished creators have, but if I don’t know how to use them then my stuff is gonna be in between the sketching and line-work stages instead of reaching the refining/rendering points. And I know there are tons of tutorials online to help me get better at these things: Photoshop, premiere pro, after effects, audacity, Adobe animate, artistic forms, etc. But I don’t always have time to study them when I’m also trying to stay on top of these things: TikTok posts, book launch marketing, YouTube, Instagram, writing, merch development, Facebook, newsletter, website formation.
I know I’ve grown a lot already but it gets so aggravating knowing what I’m making could be so much better, but having to settle with whatever my current skill level can offer me. I get these grandiose ideas of super fun video projects telling wide scoping stories, amazing animation shorts, interactive story telling, stunning visuals, and so much more. I feel like a prisoner within myself and what I can currently complete. The battle then becomes not shutting myself down because I get so discouraged that what I build just can’t reach what was in my mind. Imposter syndrome loves to come screaming in at that point.
And no, I have not come up with any possible solution for this inner struggle. I know we say that we are our own greatest critics and that at the end of the day the only way through is, well to get through it. At least that’s the only thing I know to do. Slowly my growth is coming, but dang is it frustrating in the meantime. And the problem with growing in these things I just end up learning of even more interesting things I could do, so the growth and lack of skill and desire to create amazing things cycle never really seems to end.
But, at the end of the day I’m just to stubborn to give up. Here’s hoping that tenacity will pay off!